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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

A Poem for the DishFolk by Noni

We'll be back to blogging a few minutes before the Tuesday show begins... but now, a new poem from Noni in NJ...

Apocalypse Now and After

By noni

I sit and type at break of dawn,
Another week has come and gone,
Keesha and Libra upon the block,
While April others harshly mock.

Big Brother alumni fooled the rest,
They showed they are by far the best,
The house is on slop for five of seven,
And they won a feast fit for those in heaven.

But after alcohol the fur did fly,
Causing many to go and cry,
April scolded Ollie for his hat,
Jerry still thinks that Dan’s a rat.

Keesha drank and started to yell,
Then the party went straight to hell.
Jerry and April pitched a fit,
Libra and Keesha curses spit.

Michelle went ballistic and started throwing,
The pillows everywhere as she was blowing,
It went from War to Apocalypse,
All they needed were chains and whips.

Dan went and hid inside the shower,
Where he remained for about an hour.
Memphis was smart and he laid low,
Avoid the women and far he’ll go.

Big brother confiscated all the knives,
They were afraid of losing houseguests lives.
This night the house was on the brink,
All because of the amount of drink.

This fight far exceeded the rest,
Of those this season it was the best.
Screaming, cursing, my ears were bleeding,
My eyes all blurry from so much reading,

The battle ran on and on forever,
No one would stop oh no not ever,
Everyone here at Dish was glued,
At their screens to watch the frenetic feud.

The War extended from room to room,
Production cheered as ratings zoom.
At last exhausted all went to bed,
Regretting much of what was said.

At last next morning did they wake,
Wondering what fools they did make,
Of themselves in their drunken state,
Now they have to face their fate

The POV comp was held on Saturday,
In which Michelle, Libra, and Keesha play.
Memphis and April did compete,
But sadly, Jerry had them beat.

April won some designer clothes,
The rest of the houseguests hold their nose,
An onion necklace does Memphis don,
For twenty four hours he must keep it on.

No sex for days for poor Ollie dear,
That April’s wrath is much to fear.
The hand he gave Janelle got April riled,
The glare on her face and her eyes so wild.

April will lead him by the nose,
And he will follow where ever she goes
Michelle must keep her rabbit safe and away,
For April may stew him to make her pay.

Jerry thinks he has all the power,
He gets more obnoxious by the hour,
At the ceremony he gives his speech,
Some manners him someone must teach.

He thought he had approval won,
But instead it was he that they did shun.
His awful rant shocked them more,
Than Michelle who’d heard it before.

We wait eagerly as eviction nears,
As we express our greatest fears.
Who will win the next HOH spot,
April, Oily, or Jerry we all hope not.

I want to see April on the block,
And Ollie next to her would really rock.
Here at Dish we all would cheer,
With Margaritas, Mohitos, and some beer.

We lovers of Dish are truly beholden,
To the Dishchicks oh so golden.
And all the others who are a part,
Of this place that holds our heart.

They make this the most superior place,
They must keep up a furious pace,
To keep us updated constantly,
We know they are the best you see.

Our Carolyn we hold so dear,
Reporter X we loudly cheer.
Dear Dawn with her terrific pics,
And TRD those creative clips.

I’ve run from here to there and back,
To catch the updates that I lack,
I’ve begged and borrowed to get on line,
On my knees I’ve plead and whined.

For five tough days I’ve done without,
My laptop which leaves no doubt,
Addicted I am and that is worse,
Than thinking up another verse.

bye now, I heart you all.

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Blogger bluex1969 said...

NONI!! Awesome!!!

I love your poems so much! They always make me smile. And you always capture the HG's, and the "plot" perfectly.

Keep up the good work!:):)xoxoxo

Bring on the Show!!!!

5:24 PM  
Anonymous debbie from so cal said...

omg! noni, you are amazing!

5:27 PM  
Anonymous Samantha_M. said...

Bravo, Noni! I am really so impressed!

You rock! Thanks for entertaining us and for being such a special part of what makes the dish so fabulous!

5:28 PM  
Blogger EvilnSyde said...

Cool :)

5:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Noni, your poems about the houseguests just amaze me!! Very talented you are and thanks for sharing with us!!

Janice from GA

P.S. Sorry O.T.....does anyone think they will show the big Saturday night blowup on the show tonight??

5:34 PM  
Blogger ***MsFitz*** said...


That was awesome. You are so talented & caught every moment!

Thank you for sharing with us! It's wonderful to share this blog with you. :)

5:36 PM  
Blogger Stephen_Nalley said...

A verse worth of Shakespeare's Sonnets.

Brilliant work Noni! I think you've you've summed up the hopes and fears of all America with that.

5:38 PM  
Anonymous amber said...

very creative...

5:38 PM  
Blogger Merry said...

wow! awesome Noni! Hey Carolyn, you have a house poet for the Dish - maybe Noni should write us a weekly poem like TRD does a weekly video recap! :)

5:47 PM  
Blogger ltcmek said...

Perfect Noni! Thanks for sharing!!!

5:48 PM  
Blogger Boomer said...

*standing ovation* Bravo, Noni! Bravo!

5:49 PM  
Blogger theZanyOne said...

Noni...that is great. CBS should feature your stuff at the wrap party.

I'm hoping my box guide is's shows that they are airing Sunday's show again tonight.

5:50 PM  
Blogger JulieB said...

Noni, that is beyond fantastic!!! You've captured everything so well!!!

Awesome awesome awesome.

5:55 PM  
Blogger theZanyOne said...

Noni .... I've sent you another guest pass. I hope it lets you use it.

5:56 PM  
Anonymous gr8dane said...

Things I love...Renny's beautiful smiling face. The houseguests getting beer. And the sun shining on my face.

Things I hate...APRIL, Jerry, Ollie (mostly because he's doing April). And the sun shining on my face.

5:59 PM  
Blogger ltcmek said...

zany -- my dish guide shows tonights show airing (not Sunday's).

Oh no!!!! Did I just hear them say BB is having another nice sit down dinner for them.

Batten down the hatches, get the kids to bed and HOLD ON. It's gonna be a wild one tonight!!!

5:59 PM  
Blogger N2RealityTV said...

Aw, that's just awesome Noni!


6:03 PM  
Blogger lee said...

Can't wait for another fight
So we can read what you write!

That was so great. YOU rock!

6:04 PM  
Blogger Kelly in AZ said...

Wow, I am new this year to commenting here and wow and I amazed! How fun you all are! And Noni that poem was fabulous! I am having so much fun and I am hooked on this site!

6:14 PM  
Blogger GaYToR said...

Noni, FANTASTIC again. Such a talent. I bow to you.

The only poems I can make up are dirty ones.. imagine that. Do you know how many dirty words rhyme? LOTS OF THEM!

6:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love it!
I love it!
I love it!

Great Job Noni! All the right words in one poem!
It Sooooooooooo ROCKS!

Virg from NM

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Really great poem I love it!! :)

7:07 PM  
Blogger ddugo said...

Awesome job Noni!!!
I loved it!
Keep up the great work!

7:08 PM  
Blogger WendyLady33 said...


7:26 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Once again Noni that was great!!
This one was my fav verse:
Big brother confiscated all the knives,
They were afraid of losing houseguests lives.
This night the house was on the brink,
All because of the amount of drink.

12:42 PM  

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